how do you know when you’re “over it”?

how do you know when you’ve moved on sufficiently to say you survived something? how do you know for sure when you’re over a situation, a person, a relationship? is it when you finally find the words to speak the truth, to put a stop to the pattern, the unhealthy cycle? is it when you can look back and find the good in a relationship, not the bad that made the relationship end? is it when you finally realize what the lesson you were meant to learn from that  person or situation was?

lately i feel like a book of endings, and i’m tired of it. i’m tired of being pulled down by my past. my past is just that, its my past. it has shaped me and made me who i am, but no longer will i let it define me. maybe it took harsh words from someone i thought i could trust to make me open my eyes. maybe i don’t want to be the person they think i am. i don’t want to be define by them, or by anyone. i am my own person. i make my own decisions, good and bad, but then again, doesn’t everyone? being constantly compared to some ideal is bullshit, no one can life up to an ideal. not a person, not a relationship, nothing. it’s unfair to define these things, as you will never be truly  happy if you. to say that a relationship must have this, that or the other, to be a good relationship. to say a person must do x, y or z to be a good person. ”you know their only what they think of you”, thank you Rob Thomas.

 i make today a new anniversary of sorts, i don’t look back in anger at the relationship gone, but to the future to the me i want to become. i make today the day i live by my own rules, not the rules or expectations of those around me. today i start living for me. it’s sure to be one hell of a ride….. will you still be here when it’s over? no one knows for sure, hell i don’t even know.